You should save files after working with spreadsheets. You should not save anything you find after waking with Madonna between the sheets.#
This allows the user to modify a document or window and keep both the original and the altered versions by giving the altered version a different name. Note that the different name need not be radically different. It can be just one character in difference.
Where should you save a whale? At SEAWORLD.DOC.#
An external device that digitizes artwork and photographs and stores the image in a file that can be merged into word processing and desktop publishing programs.
What most construction workers do before whistling.#
Fonts displayed on the screen that give an idea of the way they will look on the printed page.
Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.#
A utility program that changes the screen display to prolong the life of a display monitor.
Screen savers were recently used by the FBI to hypnotize Cher into remembering early memories of Sonny Bono. The attempt was later abandoned after agents decided it was far too dangerous when Cher started singing "I got you babe" and began staring amorously at her monitor. #
To move the contents displayed in a window vertically or horizontally.
You should scroll down a list of customers; you should scroll down a long e-mail from your boss; you should scroll down an organization chart for your department. You definitely should not scroll down a scan of Tom Arnold's tattoos.#
The bars in Windows that move the window vertically or horizontally to reveal objects that are not otherwise visible.
The original ancient Egyptian hangout for out of work poets addicted to caffeine.#
Procedure for choosing a file, folder or group of files and folders.
It's a lot easier to select files than to select the O.J. jury.#
Edit menu option available in Windows 95 to choose every object in the active window.
Also what you should do if you're the first one in line at a potluck.#
Option on Windows 95 file menu to send files or folders to another disk such as the floppy drive or to send faxes.
Does not include an option to send your husband to the market for a carton of milk and some eggs.#
An interface used for serial communications devices such as modems. Usually a 9-pin and sometimes a 25 pin connector.
Also the place where Captain Crunch keeps his boat.#
The system on a network where all the available resources reside.
Also that really ugly fat woman at Denny's with hair in her teeth who comes up to you and asks "How 'bout another Grand Slam?"#
In Windows 95, the Start Menu pull across menu that provides access to the Control Panel folder, Printers folder, and to Taskbar settings.
What you hope you have extra of when your husband (or, for you p.c.-ers, wife) announces, "Honey, get out the good china, I've brought the bowling team home for some of your Meatloaf surprise."#
See configuration.
In comedy, the background information shared to prepare your audience for a joke. In the case of this glossary, one could say, the setups are almost non-existent. But then one could say that about the jokes as well.#
A utility program that functions as a menu-driven interface for a difficult to use program or operating system.
What movie execs do with their money when they see Jim Carrey.#
A key you press to access uppercase letters or punctuation marks. What Barry Manilow does in the middle of every song.#
In Windows 95, the ability to place an object anywhere and access it from anywhere else. It's a good idea to use shortcuts so you can open your most accessed folders from the desktop.
It's a bad idea to get a root canal from a dentist who says: "I think I know a shortcut."#
In Windows 95 Help Topics, a button that initiates the action associated with a selected topic.
You should use a button to take a shortcut to the printers folder, you should not use the buttons on the gates of the White House to take a shortcut across the lawn.#
A combination of keys that provide one-stroke access to menu commands.
Also the key you press when you want to get a pop-up list of Dudley Moore insults.#
The Start Menu option to select when you wish to safely turn off your computer.
Also what happens to you emotionally when you look in the mirror and realize you bear a slight resemblance to Fred Munster.#
When referring to windows, the horizontal and vertical dimension currently occupied by the window on screen.
Also refers to the horizontal and vertical dimension of Newt Gingrich's running shorts.#
We have no idea.
If you figure it out, let us know.#
A list of instructions created with a programming language, in the form of a system, application program, or utility.
Software is a hot commodity at your local computer store. Software is not a new line of Bill Gates designer dresses available at a Walmart near you.#
A computer adapter board that enables the recording and playback of audio wave files and usually include MIDI capabilities.
You should use your sound card to record voice over for business presentations, you should not use your sound card to record that strange sound coming from the garbage disposal.#
A program that allows the user to record and play back sounds, turning the computer into a "digital tape recorder". All sound files associated with a sound recorder end in a .WAV extension.
All sound files associated with Robert De Niro end in "are you talking to me?"#
A digitized waveform that produces an audio signal.
May also refer to the noise heard during the really boring part of most sporting events.#
A Windows 95 control panel item that allows the user to associate various sound effects with a variety of events that take place within Windows.
Can somebody please explain why there isn't a shut up button? #
This can be used as a keyboard shortcut. It can be used to depress outlined or highlighted function keys after they have been selected by using tab. Basically, this is an alternative to pressing Enter.
Supermarket house brand substitute for Milky Way.#
The start button displays the start menu which contains a list of commands that allow you to launch programs.
Not to be confused with the "Don't get me started button" which your mother seems to press frequently in arguments with your father.#
The menu that appears when the start button is clicked that allows you to launch applications and gives you quick access to the majority of files, folders, accessories and other resources. It also allows you to search, get help and shut down your system.
Good news: You can even use the Start menu to launch programs on a network. Bad news: You can not use the start menu to cancel FOX network programs like "Married With Children".#
The bar at the bottom of the window that gives the status or other information about the program.
The new name for Club 29. No one is let in unless they're packing a Pentium.#
The retention of information on a magnetic device.
Darling, you can never be too rich, too thin or have too much mass storage.#
A subordinate menu within a pull-down menu.
Little known computer fact: the last item on a sub menu is always "Pickles and Onions Available On Request."#
A directory structure within a directory.
Where to look when you need on a number in Crimson Tide or Das Boot.#
A special file in Windows that uses the hard disk to temporarily store files and code. It is a good idea to have a swap file so that you can run programs that exceed the RAM requirements of your computer.
It is not a good idea to swap toothbrushes with a truck driver from Cleveland named "Eldon."#
Allows the user to view their computer System properties, including Device Managers, Hardware Profiles, and System Performance.
If you read this please send $25.00 to Glenn Johnson, c/o Graphix Zone, 42 Corporate Park, #
170, Irvine, CA, 92714. Thank you for your support.#
A program or data file used exclusively by the operating system. System files include system.ini, diskcopy.dll and config.sys.
